Friendship and connection are as vital as food

When cultivating connection with people becomes as vital as cultivating connection with food and nature

Shared view from Vacaresti Delta during a morning bike walk - courtesy of my friend Mihaela

This week, I experienced a surge of feeling—the kind that you get when you see your friends or family after a long time, making it feel like coming home and evoking a giddy excitement.

I also experienced how vital the closeness, connection, and truth of a deep friendship are for my body and mind. How hugs can be as healing as a bowl of warm soup at the right time, how smiles penetrate tissues and cells with the same depth that nutrients do, and how shared meals have a way of bringing us together like nothing else.

I didn't realise until today how much I had missed this. In the rush of the past weeks of packing, sorting, and cleaning the flat, I hadn't even had time to think about it. Coming to my homeland almost always triggers a shift in my body's energy, a buzzing sensation that I experience nowhere else.

Through this, I realized that, although I need and enjoy spending time alone, I also crave deep connections. And I started wondering, “How do you cultivate connection when you're far away from everyone?” One reason I am writing this newsletter is to connect with you and them, to bridge the physical distance between us, and to hopefully share words that resonate with your experience and theirs.

What about you? How do you nurture your meaningful connections with your loved ones across distance? What practices have you found helpful in maintaining strong bonds, even when you can't share the same physical space? Let me know in the comments.

The nourishment of connection

We often regard food as sustenance, as the engine that keeps our bodies running. I know I’m one to plan meals, research nutrients, and obsess over the origin of ingredients, as well as how they are grown.

Yet, how often do we apply the same intentionality to connection, to ourselves, to other people? To the way we feed our minds and souls through the people we keep close to us?

While I usually share photos like the one below in WhatsApp groups with my closest friends, I’ve noticed that when I'm far away from them and we’re not physically together to enjoy a dish, I feel a sense of longing that sits right beside my physical appetite, which no amount of delicious food can satisfy.

I now realize that almost every time I do this, it's the connection that I am seeking.

To close that gap, when we meet in person, I like to organize brunches at their homes, where we can all come together to share delicious dishes, tell stories, and connect. Earlier today, as I sat across from them, observing their changing expressions during our conversation and listening to the rhythm of their laughter while my friend Diana shared stories about her sage and funny three-year-old son, I felt a sense of, "Yes, this is exactly what I needed."

Cultivating connection across distance

I've noticed how these reunions bring back a part of myself through the mirror of those who have known me the deepest—parts of myself that sometimes become blurry at the edges in isolation. References to shared history, particular interests, or things we care about are all a kind of homecoming.

This weekend has reminded me that we all are, fundamentally, beings of connection. That it doesn’t matter how independent you are, how capable of solitude, there remains in you this primary need to be seen, known, welcomed, to connect.

So, I return to my original question: “How do we cultivate connection when we're far away?” Beyond the apparent solution of calls and messages, I think cultivating connection across distances requires a kind of active remembering. 

It’s about carrying people in your thoughts and sharing your real life with them—the good, the bad, the ugly, the ordinary Wednesdays, and the not-so-Instagram-worthy dishes. Perhaps most importantly, it's about being vulnerable enough to say, "I missed you," without qualification, acknowledging that hunger for connection without diminishing it or brushing it aside.

Because at the end of the day, friendship and connection are truly as vital as food – they sustain us in ways both visible and invisible, nourish parts of ourselves that would otherwise wither in isolation.

Tonight (it’s 8:25 p.m. as I write this), I’d like to share an effortless yet delicious sea bream recipe. All you’ll need are a few ingredients you most likely already have at hand.

We had it at the brunch/dinner yesterday evening, and everyone loved the zesty, lemony, fresh taste of the fish baked this way.

Oven-baked sea bream on a bed of lemon slices

Serves:6

Prep time: 5 mins

Cooking time: 20-25 mins

Ingredients

• 3-4 medium sized sea breams

• Dried mixed herbs (Italian, Provence, or any other herbs mix you prefer)

• Salt to season (Maldon, Himalayan salt, or regular salt also works)

• Freshly ground black pepper

• Olive oil to drizzle

Method

1. Preheat the oven to 160ºC fan.

2. Wash and slice the lemons, then arrange them on a baking tray to create a bed of lemons. Season with salt, pepper, and a drizzle of olive oil, and add the herbs.

3. Wash, pat dry, and cut the fish into chunks of 3-4 cm in size. Arrange them on the lemon bed and season with your choice of herbs, salt, pepper, and a bit of olive oil (not too much, as the sea bream is an oily fish anyway).

4. Transfer the tray to the oven and bake for 20-25 minutes, or until the meat is tender and cooked through.

5. Serve with baked potatoes, a fresh salad, or any other side dish of choice.

P.S. Let me know in the comments if you try it.

xx, Ana